A simple 3-Step process to bring kindness, compassion, love and peace into your life

About The Book

Here is a simple 3-Step method that naturally opens you and your life to love, kindness, compassioin and peace. This is a book for everyone who wants better relationships, improved leadership skills, or a less stressful, healthier and more peaceful life.

From history, popular culture and the author’s experience as a crisis manager, ombuds and mediator, here is a methodology based in science and esoteric psychology for eliminating the pain, regret and residue of conflicts from your mind, heart and spirit. The book’s clear approach develops your self-awareness and understanding about the nature of conflict to make compassionate actions and genuine solutions possible in even the most difficult situations – so conflict becomes opportunity

For mediators, ombuds, therapists, coaches and other conflict professionals, this 3-Step process provides openings for more effectively building trust, identifying real needs, and quickly reaching equitable solutions likely to last.

Skill-building exercises follow each chapter to support learning and provide tools useful every day.

Who Can Benefit

Genuinely solving a conflict can generate good will and an opening to harvest valuable benefits that exist beneath the surface — including new information, creative solutions, and seeds for new opportunities. When you are able to get yourself out of thew way, your conflicts can often resolve themselves. The 3-Step method in Free Yourself From Conflict will help almost everyone.  Here are just a few examples.


who understand that when conflict is well managed, results include more controllable risk, reduced costs, and sustainable growth; or who would just rather spend less than the average 42% of their work time dealing with conflict.


who would rather facilitate participants own best solutions rather than impose a solution on them. This 3-Step process develops more mindful compassion, and studies prove that establishes trust, solidifies relationships, and better supports people to reach their full postential.


who recognize leadership often depends on effectively overcoming resistance and building consensus among violently disparate points of view, so that they can inspire others to achieve more than they thought they could.


who want to base their relationship on trust and truth, who want to discover how to build open, honest, strong relationships, or who would rather make love than fight.


who want to more effectively solve conflicts with their children, who want better family communication, or would just rather enjoy dinner than clash with their teens.


who wants a healthier life, with less stress and more happiness.

What They Say

…Appeals to the heart and spirit as well as the mind David shows readers how to shift from reaction to reflection to problem solving.  He gives us a clear and methodical process for getting under, through and past conflict.  Free Yourself From Conflict is a practical, accessible, well-written book that provides a way to engage with others more constructively.

Cinnie Noble

Founder, Cinergy Conflict Coaching

…Amazing on a number of levels — and it’s not just for business.  David gives us the answer for what to do when a situation inexplicably spins out of control and there doesn’t seem to be any way to bring it back without surrendering everything you care about — even when your three year old throws a tantrum in front of the supermarket candy display.  He also gives us new ways to understand and cope with a world that every day seems increasingly chaotic.

Mark Silver

Founder, Heart of Business

…So inspiring I found myself reading parts to my friends.  Because I have worked in Afghanistan, Pakistan, Africa and the U.S. to rebuild and strengthen communities under the most challenging conditions on the planet, I know this book is critically needed around the world for peace building, trauma, and post war reconstruction.  David’s simple 3-Steps enable people to turn a conflict or terrible situation inside out and get amazing results.  This is a revolutionary presentation of a process that I know works.

Patricia Omidian, Ph.D.

Co-Founder, Focusing Initiatives Int'l.

The Author

DAVID PAUKER is an ombudsperson, certified conflict management coach, mediator and attorney with 20+ years’ experience solving problems and improving communication, including large value, multi-party, high-pressure situations requiring strategic vision, trust building, and negotiation expertise.  He also spent many years consulting for organizations and delivering practical blueprints for effective change.  Learn more.

Next Steps

Enjoy The Book

People tell me this book is both enjoyable and very helpful. It’s possible to move beyond the contest of a conflict to discover wisdom and opportunities hidden under the surface. Increase your options, craft solutions that work, and even expand your own self-imposed limits. Solving conflicts can become as natural as breathing.

Contact Me

Contact me with questions or comments about the book, conflict, or any success stories that come from reading the book.  Also please let me know how you enjoyed the book and if it has been helpful.  Thank you.

7 + 8 =